Oh my God! Where do I start?

This is one of the worst films I’ve seen in a long time. A spectaular load of bollocks on every single level.

First the good stuff. Some of the robots / terminators are cool. There are some big explosions. Arnie’s in it, for about 3 seconds. Ummm, that’s about it. 

Right now onto the bad.
 
The plot is rubbish. The acting is wooden. There’s a cute kid, that for some unexplained reason, can’t speak. Christian Bale growls his way through the entire movie . Bryce Dallas Howard has practically nothing to do. There’s hardly an original idea in the entire film. Just about every single action scene has been stolen from somewhere else; step forward Transformers, The Matrix and War of the Worlds. But none of that can over shadow the massive steaming turd that is the script. 

I find it unbelievable that Christian Bale read a full finished script before he signed on. It’s brain numbling, laugh out loud bad. No wonder he was so pissed off on the set.  

Check this – Sam Worthington is on death row, about to get the lethal injection. Helena Bonham Carter comes to see him in hs cell, to try and get him to donate his body to Cyberdyne Systems. Only, she’s dying of cancer. You can tell this because she has a bald head. Sam is relunctant, only finally caving in in exchange for a kiss. Now, if that doesn’t sound  lame enough, GET THIS!

After the kiss he says, and I shit you not here, “Now I know what death tastes like”. WTF!?! What does that even mean?

That’s not all, there’s loads of this rubbish, line after line of it. It starts to get depressing, then it starts to get so bad it’s funny. 

If you do go see this, and I can’t recommend strongly enough that you don’t,  keep an ear out for the fireside chat between Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) & Blair Williams (Moon Bloodgood). It’s toe curling, excruciatingly  awful. To the point where you’re almost gnawing your fist off before getting up and walking out.

Remember being scared shitless of the Terminator in the first one? Remember seeing the T-1000 go all melty in the second one and going, “WOW, that’s cool!”. Even the 3rd one wasn’t great but the ending was kinda groovy. There is nothing great in this film. There are no cool moments. Nothing has any weight to it. None of the action scenes are anything that you’ve not seen 100 times before and done 100 times better. 

This is beyond a shadow of doubt the worst installment of Terminator yet. Plus, the movie is left open ended; part of a planned new triliogy. I really, really hope that McG isn’t attached to direct either of them, because he’s made a total cock up of this one.

Oh, and apparently Terminators have USB ports, handy if you want to plug in a printer, or charge your iPod. 

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