Pete chimes in with a OneWordReview for this Nic Cage film.

Over to you Pete:

“Shit”

There you go ladies and gents!

No need to read any more.

Live Long and Prosper? – it’s off to a good start.

You’ve heard of Star Trek. Whether you’re a die-hard Trekkie/er, a casual fan or even if you hate sci-fi, you know what Star Trek is.

And J.J Abrams knows that you know. And its from this starting point that he has successfully managed to breathe new life yet again into the seemingly deathproof franchise that started out as a low-budget, big ideas TV show over 40 years ago.

Let’s start again – at the beginning.

Much like the spin-off series Enterprise, (2001 – 2005) Star Trek is set during the early days of the Federation. To be more precise, at the very beginning (actually, even earlier still) of Captain Jim Tiberius Kirk’s life. After a very effective big bang introduction to the Trek universe things take on a slower approach, lovingly (re)introducing characters through their respective starts as cadets of the Federation. Abrams has openly admitted to not being a hugh fan of the series but he has clearly fallen for it at some point during the production process because it quickly becomes obvious that he cares a great deal for these characters.

From the sumptuous effects and set design down to the casting itself – Star Trek manages to bring things very much up to date whilst being entirely respectful to what has gone before.
Everything you want and a little bit more.

From the uniforms to the phasers, from the ‘beam me ups’ to the captain’s chair – it’s all here. Just a little bit different. Almost without exception everything has been given an overhaul to some degree but nothing has been radicalised to the point that fans will have any genuine reason to grumble. Of course, you’ll never please all the people all the time. But fans should take heart, given the glut of truly awful remakes, re-imaginings and reduxes of late, it could have all gone so wrong.

But it hasn’t. The story itself is decent enough, revolving around the vengeful Romulan Nero (Eric Banna) seeking revenge for the losses he has endured at the hands of the Federation (in his mind at least). And inevitably, it falls to the young Enterprise crew (with a few helping hands) to save the day. To be honest, not too much more can be elaborated on plot-wise without spoiling things too much. However, I will say this: It is a bit of shame that once again the plot includes (the now seemingly obligatory) time travel twists. Surely, with a universe as rich as Trek’s, it would be possible to write a decent storyline where time travel of any fashion is not required?

Suffice it to say, this minor niggle aside it’s still an enjoyable tale with the right blend of old and new. And for the fans, there are enough references to names, places and events to keep you happily smug. For complete newcomers it’s an entertaining romp with great action scenes and a decent enough story. although you may feel slightly lost during the 3rd (and weakest) act.

The only real mis-step is, I’m sorry to say, Simon Pegg as Scotty. Here (as was the case in MI3) his sole purpose is to provide the comic relief. He fails. His character feels forced and unnecessary and actually jars with the rest of the film. Thankfully, his scenes are limited in number and so cause no real lasting damage to the overall film but it is a surprising error in judgement on the part of both the writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman as well as Adrams himself. As for the remainder of the cast Chris Pine is well suited to the role of young Kirk. He brings the right blend of machismo and street smarts without appearing obnoxious. As for Spock – Zachary Quinto is pretty much perfect. He certainly looks the part and finds the perfect tone – you’ll have no problem believing he’s the young Leonard Nimoy (you’ll see). Given that the original series relied so heavily on the chemistry between Kirk and Spock and their ying yang-like kinship, it’s very pleasing to see this relationship blossom and both actors, to their credit, pull it off completely. Rounding out the cast are Karl Urban as the always gruff Dr. ‘Bones (good), Zoe Saldana as Uhura (both pretty and suitably fiesty), John Cho bringing ‘cool’ to Sulu and Anton Yelchin as the very young Chekov. Bana makes a workmanlike baddie but in his defence, there’s not actually a great deal of depth to bring to his role as Nero other than to snarl and look broody.

All in all, this is a very solid starting point for a whole new series of Star Trek. It proves that ‘re-boots’ can, given the right amount of care and attention work.

Grittier, darker but still very much true Trek, this really is the Next Generation. Long may it live. And prosper.

Oh my God! Where do I start?

This is one of the worst films I’ve seen in a long time. A spectaular load of bollocks on every single level.

First the good stuff. Some of the robots / terminators are cool. There are some big explosions. Arnie’s in it, for about 3 seconds. Ummm, that’s about it. 

Right now onto the bad.
 
The plot is rubbish. The acting is wooden. There’s a cute kid, that for some unexplained reason, can’t speak. Christian Bale growls his way through the entire movie . Bryce Dallas Howard has practically nothing to do. There’s hardly an original idea in the entire film. Just about every single action scene has been stolen from somewhere else; step forward Transformers, The Matrix and War of the Worlds. But none of that can over shadow the massive steaming turd that is the script. 

I find it unbelievable that Christian Bale read a full finished script before he signed on. It’s brain numbling, laugh out loud bad. No wonder he was so pissed off on the set.  

Check this – Sam Worthington is on death row, about to get the lethal injection. Helena Bonham Carter comes to see him in hs cell, to try and get him to donate his body to Cyberdyne Systems. Only, she’s dying of cancer. You can tell this because she has a bald head. Sam is relunctant, only finally caving in in exchange for a kiss. Now, if that doesn’t sound  lame enough, GET THIS!

After the kiss he says, and I shit you not here, “Now I know what death tastes like”. WTF!?! What does that even mean?

That’s not all, there’s loads of this rubbish, line after line of it. It starts to get depressing, then it starts to get so bad it’s funny. 

If you do go see this, and I can’t recommend strongly enough that you don’t,  keep an ear out for the fireside chat between Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) & Blair Williams (Moon Bloodgood). It’s toe curling, excruciatingly  awful. To the point where you’re almost gnawing your fist off before getting up and walking out.

Remember being scared shitless of the Terminator in the first one? Remember seeing the T-1000 go all melty in the second one and going, “WOW, that’s cool!”. Even the 3rd one wasn’t great but the ending was kinda groovy. There is nothing great in this film. There are no cool moments. Nothing has any weight to it. None of the action scenes are anything that you’ve not seen 100 times before and done 100 times better. 

This is beyond a shadow of doubt the worst installment of Terminator yet. Plus, the movie is left open ended; part of a planned new triliogy. I really, really hope that McG isn’t attached to direct either of them, because he’s made a total cock up of this one.

Oh, and apparently Terminators have USB ports, handy if you want to plug in a printer, or charge your iPod. 

[rating:1]

Is the new Bond film any good?
Yes, is the answer.

Is it as good as Casino Royal?
Not quite but not far off.

Does it feel like a Bond film?
Not really.

And this is probably the only real stumbling block.

It’s not a Bourne film, although it does more than tip its hat in that direction.
In fact you could argue that the entire roof top chase / fight was lifted straight from Bourne 3, but it doesn’t really feel like a Bourne film either.

That’s not to say it’s not a top film. You’ll certainly get your moneys worth. Fast cars, great action, hot girls: Check, Check, Check.

It’s just that there are no gadgets, hardly any witty come backs (ok apart from the line in the hotel) or indeed, a memorable bad guy.

In fact, just what was so bad about this bad guy anyway? Sure he over throws governments and puts in puppet dictators, then holds the country to ransom. But it’s hardly world domination / wipe everyone out and start again from your headquarters in space or under the sea!

So where does that leave us then?
Well I’ll tell you, the reinvention of Bond continues, it’s great and hard and gritty but they are in danger of losing what made Bond likeable in the first place.

Think of this one as part two of a trilogy and it makes more sense. Fingers crossed, when Bond returns next time, he brings a couple of jokes and some laser watches with him!

4 out of 5
(Take a point off if you miss the white cat patting baddies)

Written by Michael Crichton & Anne-Marie Martin. Directed by Jan de Bont.

Watched this again the other day, and I have to say, although it’s a big pile of cack, you gotta love the bit where the cow flies past!

It’s the usual big budget special effects laden fair, heavy of the CGI and light on the plot. Everyone does the best they can with the limited characters and it’s always a pleasure to see Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt hamming it up on the screen. Still, this film isn’t about the characters or the plot, it’s about massive hurricanes, twisters, tornados, whatever you want to call them, and seeing every penny of the big budget up there on the screen.

It’s not taxing or life changing stuff, yet it is an enjoyable romp with some great set pieces. Just make sure the surround sound is turned all the way up to 11, sit back and let it wash over you

Created by Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant

It’s a funny thing this, we’ve seen the remakes of typically British sitcoms like “Men Behaving Badly” and they’ve ranged from passable to truly rubbish.

So, you wonder how “The Office” could possibly make the transition to the US format. After all, it’s probably one of the more typically British formats. The answer, happily, is very well. The first episode is practically a word for word transfer from the UK version and it shows that the writing it more than up to the jump across the pond. Fans of Anchorman will recognize “Brick Tamland” (Steve Carell) in the role of the David Brent, while a host of unknowns flesh out the familiar parts from the UK show.

The comparisons between the two formats are numerous, yet by the third episode, a strange thing starts to happen. You’re no longer watching the program thinking “Yes, that was in the UK one”, instead you start watching the US version on it’s own merit. It’s a real credit to the cast and writers for making the transfer yet still retaining the laughs and heart from the original.

The first Series of “The Office – An American Workplace” is as fresh and as funny as the UK version, bringing a wonderful spin to what could so easily have been a terrible a disaster. Pat on the back for everyone involved, if you haven’t seen it yet, we highly recommend you pick it up.

Dean Corso (Depp) is an antique book dealer, tasked with finding and comparing the last three remaining copies of a book reported to be part written by the very devil himself. And the Devil seems never to be far away as the further in to the quest Corso travels, the stranger the occurrences that happen to him. OOooOOOOooooOOooo! Be afraid!

I first saw this film when it first came out and pretty much stuck it in the “what a pile of shit” drawer for ten years. It was only after being re-educated on its finer points recently, that I revisited it and I have to say, I’m glad I did.

Far from being the slow and pointless film, with awful special effects, that I remembered, it turns out that The Ninth Gate is a wee gem. Managing to create a feeling of dread and tension right from the off, the film builds slowly to a fine ending indeed. In fact, it makes me wonder what sort of mood I was in the first time I watched it, that would have caused me to write it off so quickly.

There really is a lot going on here and while it may not seem like it on the surface, repeated viewings do pay off, as more of the facets of the story slot into place.

So, if you like your horrors with the blood and guts left out and the thinking left in, then I can highly recommend this one to you. Not only that, but if you’ve written a film off that you’ve not seen for a while, then maybe, just maybe, you should give it a second chance. Unless that film is “Beyond Bedlam”, which truly is a bag of shit.

Written by Michael Dougherty & Dan Harris. Based on the DC Characters by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster. Directed by Bryan Singer

Superman Returns is a real achievement! Bryan Singer has taken a Super Hero, if not THE superhero, and managed to remove all the fun and charm of the original films.

Superman Returns is quite simply dull; the action set pieces are mostly pointless, the CGI in some places looks amateurish and the story is lacking on all fronts.

Credit to Brandon Routh and Parker Posey for a couple of decent turns in an otherwise lackluster film.

Not even Kevin Spacey (we’re not worthy) can save this one!

Do yourself a favour and rent the original.

This is a great movie, a really great one.
Funny, witty, intelligent and superbly written, Zach Helm has crafted a truly magnificent piece of work. Theacting is able to keep up with this  fantastic script and  Marc Forster’s direction manages to bring out the best in an already standout film.

Will Ferrell turns down the comedy dial but still owns every single scene, showing us that he’s far more than simply the funniest man in movies today. Comparisons with Adam Sandlar’s Punch Drunk Love, aren’t misplaced.

Maggie Gyllenhall’s Ana Pascal also manages to hit another superb home run, playing the love interest with just enough pace and grit to be a foil to Will’s stick in the mud.

Add in the many talents Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson and Queen Latifah and you just can’t lose.

Gloriously filmed in and around New York, some of the shots show an almost Woody Allen level of love for the city.

If there is one criticism of the film, it’s that the ending to some may seem a little (and I mean a very little) bit contrived, or possibly a cop out.  This however is only one opinion and certainly not one I share.

What’s we’re left with is a hidden gem of a film that passed under a lot of people’s radar first time round. I only hope it finds it’s spiritual home on DVD as it simply one of the best films I’ve seen this year and makes me very interested in seeing what Zach Helm decided to do next.

A thoroughly enjoyable, intelligent and superbly funny film.

So here it is; end game. The final third in one of the most financially successful film trilogies (?) in cinema history. Re-defining how comic-book conversions are done, Sam Raimi, the unlikeliest of Directors, had already managed to hit the bull’s eye twice in a row. Now, with the supposed last instalment, he’s looking to go out with the biggest of bangs. Does he succeed? Well, yes and no.

Spiderman 3 is flawed. In a number of ways. First and foremost there is simply too much going on. Trying to squeeze in one, maybe two too many characters, the original central cast, so nicely fleshed out in 1 & 2 seem somehow lightweight here, almost watered down versions of their former selves. Peter Parker & MJ Watson’s relationship is floundering, new girl Gwen Stacey (Bryce Dallas Howard) is added to the mix and his long-brewing rift with former best friend Harry Osbourne is ready to break (and break it does). But somehow, despite wanting to, you find yourself caring just a little bit less than you’d have liked.

A lot of the problem is the pacing of the film. It races and revs at such a pace that important issues and plotlines blur past your vision before your brain can really interpret what’s going on. Even the usually faultless editing seems to chop a scene here and there a beat too early in an attempt to keep the running time down and the plotline burning. Certainly from start to finish there are only a handful of moments where you can relax and concentrate on what has always kept Spidey at the front of the pack; character.

With the introduction of Venom, we see Peter Parker suffer from Anakin-itus, turning to the darkside as his growing fame and power go to his head (and like Anakin’s fall, this seemingly almost happens over night) – Which ironically, provides the film’s (intentionally) funniest scenes as a ‘new & improved’ bad boy Peter Parker struts and swaggers his way around New York. This allows Mr. Maguire to show off his funnier side and it has to be said he pulls it off brilliantly.

As for the Sandman (played ably in a rather undemanding role by Thomas Haden Church) & Green Goblin Jnr.; well, neither one is bad but neither one sticks to memory as does Doc Ock or even the original Goblin did. The effects (certainly for Sandman) are at times breath-taking but in other areas look like they’ve been knocked up by the BBC for Dr. Who – Goblin Jnr. on his flying snowboard being the guiltiest of candidates here. Whilst on the subject of effects, there are simply too many of them. One set staggering piece after another only seems to diminish their impact and when the strangely un-engaging final act swings into action you find yourself almost (almost) wishing it was over.

But then Venom ‘proper’ re-appears. And when he does it’s good. Fans of the comics will be pleased with the result. A feral, snarling counterpoint to Spidey they engage in quite a tag-team style smackdown. It’s a shame that the canvas is so muddied and that these two haven’t been given more time to develop and evolve before the big showdown. As with many strands thoughout this film, it feels rushed and a little insubstantial.

Despite all of this, Spiderman 3 is still a great film. As you would expect, it looks amazing and contains more action than the other two films combined, and clocking it in at over two hours, it does cover a lot of ground. But whether it is too much action and too much ground will ultimately come down to a personal preference.

Rumours are abound that depending on number three’s financial success, (something of a given really) Sam and team are toying with the idea of coming out for a fourth crack at the web. I would advise against it. With subtle feelings of repetition creeping in (as cool as it looks, how many times can you watch Spidey swing across the Big Apple before it gets just a little stale?), I would say 3 is their magic number.

So go and watch it for yourself. You’ll get everything you could possibly want from a comic-book based film (and more on top) fights, drama (ish), explosions, gags and hopefully, decent closure to arguably the most consistently brilliant trilogy yet filmed.

Oh, and you also get Bruce Campbell in the stand-out appearance of the three. Honestly, his cameo alone is worth going to see. Twice!